(Half...?) Marathon Training Week 11/ Irish Face

Excuse me, for I am in a slightly unstable mood.  Hovering somewhere between giddy optimism and hateful melancholy.  I look like I'm doing Dylan Moran's "Irish face":

Dylan Moran: Irish Face

Second weekend running (pun definitely not intended.  I don't know if you can call what I've been doing "running".  Hmph) where I've set out for a monster run and been let down by my own stubborn body.  Cut an 18 miler down to 4 last week and abandoned a 19 miler for 10 (better, but still...) this weekend.  My right ankle, heel, knee and under..foot...area (?!!) took in turns to have a bit of a cry at me, while my creaky old left hip spent intermittent periods going

"Hmm..no..nope.  Not for me.  No, thankyou. Nope."

I started training late in the first place because of my gammy foot, and have had to skip and/or shorten way more runs than I'd have liked over the past few weeks.  After today's swear-fest, I was miserable.  I don't feel anywhere near fit enough to participate in the full distance, but

• I've told everyone and their pets that I'm going to be running a marathon, and I'm soft enough to care what people would think if I drop out, and vain enough to assume that they'd care about it.
• I agreed to do this with a friend, who I was meant to be doing the Cardiff Half with last year before I jibbed out on that one.  I hate letting people down.
• I stupidly named my blog Rebecca Writes and Runs , so wanging on about doing a marathon and then not doing it makes me feel like a big ole phony.
• The only thing I have on my "to do before I'm 30 list" (making it more of a lone item than an actual list) is "run a marathon".  It's all I've thought about since Christmas.

However, I want my first marathon to be an enjoyable experience.  Hating 70% of it because I'm an un-ready mess of twinges and throbby ligaments would be totally undermining everything I love about the activity.  So, on one of the many generous limp breaks I allowed myself today, I googled the Liverpool Rock 'N' Roll FAQ page, trying to find out whether I could defer my place for another year if the worst came to worst.  

I can't.

Buuuuuuuut, I can reduce my race to the half marathon distance, which I know for a fact I can do without too much swearing and dragging one lame leg behind me.  The awesome thing is that they allow you to change your preferred distance on the day of the race, meaning that I don't have to make a decision right away.  If it came to it (and if I'm honest with myself, with only 5 weeks to go, it's looking like opting for the friendlier distance is the most likely outcome), my day would still be pretty awesome.  I wouldn't be letting anyone down, I'd still get to participate at a fantastic event, and (most importantly) I'd still get a medal.  Silver linings and that.

So I'm going to continue training along the same schedule and do as much as my body allows, but now the pressure has been lifted off me, knowing that I have a back up plan.  I might not be able to do what I set out to do this year, but a couple of years ago, I couldn't run more than a mile or two, so a half is still something Past Becky would have been quaking in her lounge wear over.  Now, it's my "easy option". 

(Rock and) roll on, Liverpool!