Finally bit the bullet and changed my URL to 'Rebecca Writes and Ran'. Acceptance of my indefinite existence as a wonky-footed invalid feels freeing. Well done on finding your way back to me in spite of the new web address. Take a free compliment from the list below:
Option 1: You are wonderful and people should buy you shiny trinkets.
Option 2: Your face is radiant like the sun, and it hurts to look directly at it.
Option 3: How you doin'? *looks you up and down*
This month, I are mostly been reading, and what I are mostly been reading is Stephen King's 'It'. I'm a bit late to the party, I know, but I wanted to read It before I see either movie - although I might never watch the original, because I don't want my adoration of Tim Curry to be squashed - I've heard it's a bit shit.
Anyway, I loved the book! I didn't expect it to be so much fun. It captures how children think and feel perfectly, and you know when a baddie's a good one when you're chuffed whenever they make an appearance.
"Yay, the murdering clown is back, and this time he's all oozy!"
It's definitely a book with a couple of problematic bits (gratuitous kiddie sex for starters - from this post on, I'm going to block that particular scene from my memory. Hurrah for selective amnesia!), but overall, I loved it. Made me think about what I was scared of as a kid vs what frightens me now as an adult, so, naturally, I'm going to talk about it on the internet.
I don't think much scared me when I was a curly-haired, dinosaur loving Beckychild compared to what gives me the willies these days. Here are the top 3 fears of baby Becks:
1. That I wouldn't know everything by the time I was a grown-up. I legit believed that you had to know pretty much everything by the time you're an adult, or you failed, and so I asked questions from the second my eyes snapped open, to the moment I passed out, knackered from bothering all the adults for their adulty wisdom all day:
"Yeah, but how do we know the moon and the sun aren't the same thing??"
Shame Google wasn't around back then. Might have given my poor parents a bit of peace.
2. Death. I was a morbid little shit, and used to lie in bed for hours, not sleeping and terrifying myself with the idea that I, me, the center of the universe, just won't exist one day. How could that be possible? Surely the world will have nothing to revolve around?
3. Embarrassment. Very little embarrasses me today. It's hard to take yourself too seriously when you're aware of how ridiculous a human you are, and how all humans are, but up until about the age of 10/11 (okay, let's be honest....19/20), I tackled life with the utmost seriousness. I would become good at everything, and failure was not an option. Cue the day the teacher reads out that you've written "foof" instead of "roof" on your spelling test. The shame! The humiliation!
Fast forward a couple of decades, and here's what gives me a hefty hit of the heeby jeebies:
1. Death. No change there. Still morbid. Last year, I even went through a moment of "Maybe I should pick a religion, just in case?" Pretty sure that's not how faith works...
2. Fire. I've only had this one since I've had pets. Every time I leave the house, I get flash forward of my fur babies being barbecued in my absence. This is when I have to turn my car around for the third time that morning to check that my GHD's are unplugged, the phone chargers' sockets are off, the oven is dormant, and none of my furniture has spontaneously combusted. To top it off, there's a house on the other side of the motorway that I live next to that has orange lights in one of its rooms - whenever I'm walking up the hill to my house, the light is positioned behind my house in a way that makes it look like my spare room is aflame. It freaks me out every single frigging time I see it. Ugh.
3. Doing life wrong - like there'll be a test at the end that you're graded on.
"What if people realise I'm a bit odd?"
They do, and it's fine.
"Aren't I supposed to have sold a bunch of books by now?"
Might help if you bothered to write one....
"Do I spend too much time on Facebook/the internet in general?"
Dunno. Let's Google what the average is.
4. Being a bit hungry. Hunger leads to hanger, and no one enjoys that alter ego of mine. What's her problem?
5. Time. I could have sworn that yesterday was Christmas day, 2012. Where am I? Who is this man I'm living with? Can I have a sandwich?
I could go on and on about the fear-riddled mass of anxiety I've become as a growed-up, but I'd be here all day, and I've got shit to do.
The take-away that I've got from writing this list is that if Pennywise/It lived in the sewers of Hendy, Carmarthenshire, It would likely present itself to me as a lighter-weilding teacher whose mission is to take my snacks away from me. It would also be wearing one of those big house clocks round its neck like a rapper from the early 90s.
What daft form would fear take for you?
Option 1: You are wonderful and people should buy you shiny trinkets.
Option 2: Your face is radiant like the sun, and it hurts to look directly at it.
Option 3: How you doin'? *looks you up and down*
This month, I are mostly been reading, and what I are mostly been reading is Stephen King's 'It'. I'm a bit late to the party, I know, but I wanted to read It before I see either movie - although I might never watch the original, because I don't want my adoration of Tim Curry to be squashed - I've heard it's a bit shit.
Anyway, I loved the book! I didn't expect it to be so much fun. It captures how children think and feel perfectly, and you know when a baddie's a good one when you're chuffed whenever they make an appearance.
"Yay, the murdering clown is back, and this time he's all oozy!"
It's definitely a book with a couple of problematic bits (gratuitous kiddie sex for starters - from this post on, I'm going to block that particular scene from my memory. Hurrah for selective amnesia!), but overall, I loved it. Made me think about what I was scared of as a kid vs what frightens me now as an adult, so, naturally, I'm going to talk about it on the internet.
I don't think much scared me when I was a curly-haired, dinosaur loving Beckychild compared to what gives me the willies these days. Here are the top 3 fears of baby Becks:
1. That I wouldn't know everything by the time I was a grown-up. I legit believed that you had to know pretty much everything by the time you're an adult, or you failed, and so I asked questions from the second my eyes snapped open, to the moment I passed out, knackered from bothering all the adults for their adulty wisdom all day:
"Yeah, but how do we know the moon and the sun aren't the same thing??"
Shame Google wasn't around back then. Might have given my poor parents a bit of peace.
2. Death. I was a morbid little shit, and used to lie in bed for hours, not sleeping and terrifying myself with the idea that I, me, the center of the universe, just won't exist one day. How could that be possible? Surely the world will have nothing to revolve around?
3. Embarrassment. Very little embarrasses me today. It's hard to take yourself too seriously when you're aware of how ridiculous a human you are, and how all humans are, but up until about the age of 10/11 (okay, let's be honest....19/20), I tackled life with the utmost seriousness. I would become good at everything, and failure was not an option. Cue the day the teacher reads out that you've written "foof" instead of "roof" on your spelling test. The shame! The humiliation!
Fast forward a couple of decades, and here's what gives me a hefty hit of the heeby jeebies:
1. Death. No change there. Still morbid. Last year, I even went through a moment of "Maybe I should pick a religion, just in case?" Pretty sure that's not how faith works...
2. Fire. I've only had this one since I've had pets. Every time I leave the house, I get flash forward of my fur babies being barbecued in my absence. This is when I have to turn my car around for the third time that morning to check that my GHD's are unplugged, the phone chargers' sockets are off, the oven is dormant, and none of my furniture has spontaneously combusted. To top it off, there's a house on the other side of the motorway that I live next to that has orange lights in one of its rooms - whenever I'm walking up the hill to my house, the light is positioned behind my house in a way that makes it look like my spare room is aflame. It freaks me out every single frigging time I see it. Ugh.
3. Doing life wrong - like there'll be a test at the end that you're graded on.
"What if people realise I'm a bit odd?"
They do, and it's fine.
"Aren't I supposed to have sold a bunch of books by now?"
Might help if you bothered to write one....
"Do I spend too much time on Facebook/the internet in general?"
Dunno. Let's Google what the average is.
4. Being a bit hungry. Hunger leads to hanger, and no one enjoys that alter ego of mine. What's her problem?
5. Time. I could have sworn that yesterday was Christmas day, 2012. Where am I? Who is this man I'm living with? Can I have a sandwich?
I could go on and on about the fear-riddled mass of anxiety I've become as a growed-up, but I'd be here all day, and I've got shit to do.
The take-away that I've got from writing this list is that if Pennywise/It lived in the sewers of Hendy, Carmarthenshire, It would likely present itself to me as a lighter-weilding teacher whose mission is to take my snacks away from me. It would also be wearing one of those big house clocks round its neck like a rapper from the early 90s.
What daft form would fear take for you?
"Fear? We thought you said beer!" haw haw etc etc.
I'll show myself out...
