Hangover day two. Finally starting to see the horizon on which I will no longer be craving pizza and Maoams for every single meal; A foreign land where I don't respond to every attempt at interaction with me with a "Wuh? Sorry, my ears are still ringing," as I pray internally for the ground to swallow me up.
Had a leaving do with my workmates on Saturday. I'm told by a few sources that I was "funny", which usually means that I was so trousered that I thought my name was Jagerbomb. Cracking night, but definitely paid the price! Main thing that's brought me through resulting paranoid, carb craving fug of my hangover was forcing my body into moving about a bit at my current gym - F.I.T Pontarddulais (click for FITBont's Faceboobs page). Been going ever since I decided to move to the area. Still feel like I've cheated on Outcast, but convenience and a lovely crowd and a coach who is the human equivalent of of caffeine ("You're doing GREAT! Nearly finished! Only joking! BURPEEEEES!!!") have made the transition really fun:
Had a leaving do with my workmates on Saturday. I'm told by a few sources that I was "funny", which usually means that I was so trousered that I thought my name was Jagerbomb. Cracking night, but definitely paid the price! Main thing that's brought me through resulting paranoid, carb craving fug of my hangover was forcing my body into moving about a bit at my current gym - F.I.T Pontarddulais (click for FITBont's Faceboobs page). Been going ever since I decided to move to the area. Still feel like I've cheated on Outcast, but convenience and a lovely crowd and a coach who is the human equivalent of of caffeine ("You're doing GREAT! Nearly finished! Only joking! BURPEEEEES!!!") have made the transition really fun:
"Smile like your arms aren't ready to fall off!"
I love group exercise. Love. It. Along with the camaraderie and (I fucking hate the word, but I can't think of an alternative because I lost all my brain cells to cider) banter (*dies a bit inside*), it's nice to have witnesses to prevent the "Nope! Time for cake, bye bye!" moments I'd usually experience trying to work out solo....Which I might have to start doing more of soon, what with my new jerb being a bazillion and twenty five light years away (I Google mapped it) from my house. For this reason, I'm enjoying the group stuff as much as I can for now, just in case I'm not able to do it as much in the near future.
Contrary to some people's beliefs, group exercise is rarely boring. As well as the content of the workouts changing all the time, where your head is at (in the case of this evening, it was physically in the gym and mentally at Domino's) changes every day too, which makes for some interesting times. Here are a few types of workout you can get at a functional fitness and/or Crossfit type class, based on my experience:
The Weeper
You came to the gym because you've had a pants day. You're a bit emotionally, erm...squiffy. You know from experience that you rarely leave the gym sad, because endorphins and science and shit, so you drag your anxious, frazzled self to the Church of Iron to be cleansed. You get a few reps in. You and the barbell are one. You are the barbell. Until you aren't. The barbell is a torture device, designed to somehow get heavier with each movement. Your coach asks if you want to add more weight to the bar because he obviously secretly hates you and would very much like to kill you. You wonder whether it's acceptable to sob openly in public. Maybe you could just tell people that you sweat most from your eyes? You hate this. You can't do this. You just can't. Until you can. Because you just did. And now you're beaming and high-fiving everyone within range because "THAT WAS AWESOME!!", conveniently forgetting that a few reps ago, you were praying to all and any deities for a swift and merciful death so you didn't have to do it any more.
The Creeper
"Oh, those are all body weight/ kind of simple movements! I can do all of those things! This will be a walk in the park!" You are wrong. And you are certainly aren't going to be able to walk in any parks (or at any other kinds of recreational grounds, for that matter) for at least a week, because everything hurts too much. DOMs has you now. Rest in peace.
The Team Effort
i.e The one where you can't half arse it because people are watching you at closer range than normal. Judging. Always judging
...Or so you convince yourself as each teammate takes a minute to rasp and wheeze into a water bottle while they wait for their turn. Oh, you can't wait for your turn to do the rasping and wheezing. Water bottle is safe. Water bottle is life.
The "Nice" One
This is where the coach/trainer occasionally throws in a workout where it doesn't leave you trying to decide whether you should stay on this Earthly plane or shuffle on into to light. I'm convinced that they do this once a month or so in order to trick you into thinking that you're suddenly "really, really good at this exercise stuff!"...right before they plunge you face first into another Creeper the following day. With a "burpees with sprinting" finisher. *shakes fist*
...I had a "nice" one tonight. Off to F.I.T again Wednesday. Pray for me.
